So you just went through a breakup. Whether it was your idea or not, the fact is that you’re left feeling pretty terrible right now.

And frankly, you have no idea what to do about it. Well, fear not – this guide is here to help.

We’ll walk you through the entire process of getting over a breakup, from dealing with the initial pain all the way through to moving on completely.

By following my advice, you can put this difficult chapter in your life behind you and start looking forward to the future. So let’s get started!

Understand what you're going through

Anybody who has gone through a breakup knows how hard it can be. You are entering into a new chapter of your life, and it is important to learn from the past and move on.

In order to do this, you need to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and understand that the breakup happened for a reason.

It is natural to go through the five stages of grief after a breakup: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it is important to remember that this is just a phase and that you will come out of it stronger than ever before.

Breakups are never easy, but by understanding what you are going through, you can make the process a little bit easier.

Have a goal in life

Have you ever found yourself wanting to achieve something great, but not knowing where to start?

Or maybe you’ve started working towards a goal, but then life gets in the way and you find it hard to stay committed.

First things first, consider what you want to achieve and make sure it’s something that motivates you.

It doesn’t matter how big or small your goal is, as long as it’s specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). Once you have that figured out, write it down somewhere so it feels more tangible.

Then comes the fun part: planning the steps you need to take to achieve your goal. And finally, once you start taking action, make sure to cross each step off your list as you go. Bottom line is that your goals and your establishment to becoming a high value man should always be above any women. 

Seeing your progress will help keep you motivated until you reach your destination. So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get started!

Your ex is now your motivation

If you’re going through a tough breakup, you’re probably familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

But what you might not know is that the anger stage is actually the best time to use those emotions to your advantage.

Whether you want your ex back or you’re just looking to get even, this is the perfect time to reinvent yourself and start becoming a better version of yourself.

That old self of yours is gone now, so it’s time to push yourself to look, smell, dress, think, and act better.

Become the person your ex wants and make them regret ever leaving or cheating on you. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Go to the gym and then Go to the gym again

Dealing with the pain of a break-up is never easy, but working out can be a great way to help you get through it.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or resentment, going for a run or hitting the gym can help you release all of that built-up emotion.

And what’s more, it can help you turn all of that pain into motivation. You’ll come out of this tough time stronger and tougher than you were before.

So next time you’re struggling to get over someone, don’t forget that working out is one of the best ways to help you move on.

Understand the psychology of women

A high value man understands the psychology of women. He knows that women are attracted to men who are relaxed and comfortable in their own skin. This is why it is so important for a man to practice being comfortable and relaxed when talking to other women.

By doing so, he will come across as confident and high value, which will inevitably attract more women into his life. In addition, a high value man understands that women are often drawn to men who can make them laugh.

Therefore, it is also beneficial for a man to learn how to be funny and light-hearted. By combining all of these qualities, a man will be able to attract any woman he wants.


If you’re anything like me, then you may have found yourself single again. Whether by choice or chance, it can be tough when your ex becomes your motivation. But there is a silver lining!

Now is the time to really focus on yourself and work towards that big goal you always talked about. And what better way to do that than by hitting the gym?

Not only will you get in great shape, but you’ll also start to understand the psychology of women. Once you have both of those things under your belt, attracting someone new will be a breeze. 

Now tell me. What have you learned?

How would you deal with the pain of a breakup?

What would you do if I see my ex?

And what are some red flags to watch out for when dating someone new?

Let me know in the comments if these tips help or resonate with you.

Meet the Author

Feeling lost and heartbroken after a breakup can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be the end of the road. If you're looking to transform yourself into the best version of you, click the link to discover a guru who can guide you through the process. With practical tips, emotional support, and a focus on personal growth, you'll be on your way to feeling confident, empowered, and ready to take on the world - no matter what your relationship status may be.
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22 thoughts on “Getting over a breakup: The ultimate guide for men

  • This was so helpful. I identified where I was on the time line, then started making plans. Oddly, I start a brand new job Monday and at first I was feeling like “I can’t because she’s not with me anymore”, but after reading your articles, I realize this is a perfect situation.
    Thank you

    • I’m glad the article helped you. Remember to focus on “YOU” and become the better version of yourself.

  • Pingback: How to get over a breakup: The tramskrow method - Tramskrow

  • It’s been 10 months since the end of my 4 year relationship. I went from wanting her out of my life and nothing to do with her to now I can’t stop thinking about if I made the right choice to end things. I go to the gym daily, keep myself busy with friends and sports but when im by myself all this pain and doubt comes back. I’ve been on dates met other women but I can’t seem to get myself to put in the effort for a 2nd date. Any advice will help because for the last 6 months it’s wake up feel sad or depressed go to work, go workout, see friends or play sports go to bed and repeat.

    • Mitch….You are the master of your domain. The way you are feeling is how SHE is suppose to be feeling. Not you. Whatever happened between you too is now the past. Learn from it. You can get someone better GUARANTEED but in order to make that happen, you need to upgrade yourself. Reinvent yourself to becoming a high value man. Dress better. Smell better. Double your income. Us men get better as we age. Remember that. Hope that helps.

    • Miguel

      Hey man I’m on the same boat. 4 years, never broken up before. We broke up like a month ago. I’ve felt like she didn’t love me the same anymore and I was never her priority. This past year I’ve felt very lonely and now after the break up it’s even more lonelier but sometimes I ask myself. “There was a legitimate reason the relationship is over”

  • I’m on my 4th week of a break up and I’m on this roller coaster ride. When we were together, I didn’t want anything to do with her, now I feel like I lost the best thing in my life. I keep going back on why i couldn’t do better for her. She never did anything wrong to me. This is the worst feeling!!

    • Why didn’t you want anything to do with her when you were both together? Could it possibly be that you weren’t ready for a relationship and that you were still trying to figure yourself out? If that’s the case, just understand that you’re not the only one. To get over that depressing feeling, you must have something more valuable than your ex. And what’s more valuable than your ex? YOURSELF. know and understand that your past relationships are nothing but lessons that you need to learn from to prepare you for your next relationship……with yourself. Once you love yourself and have a clear goal in mind, no ex or any other girls can get you depressed for that long. Hope this helps Rafael.

  • We recently broke up because we would argue more than normal which was unhealthy. I changed so I wouldn’t get so mad at her which would avoid those arguments. She still doesn’t want me though and I begged her to get back together with me. Everyone says she will come back to me once I move on but it’s been very difficult. This helped me realized that I need to show her that I don’t need to depend on her. I need to be confident that I can get over her.

    • whats up Matthew. No one likes arguing, but it’s a normal part of any relationship. However, if you’re arguing with your girlfriend on a daily basis, it’s a sign that something is wrong. It could be that you’re not compatible, or that one or both of you are unhappy with the relationship. Either way, it’s not healthy and it’s not worth staying in a relationship where you’re constantly arguing. If you’re under 30 and not making at least 10K a month, you need to focus on your own career and goals. Being in a relationship is just going to distractions and take away from your ability to focus on what’s important. Once you’re making good money and you feel good about yourself, then you can start looking for a partner who complements you and your lifestyle. Until then, it’s best to just focus on yourself. I hope this helps..

      Here is a post that may help and give you a better understanding..

      Hope this helps Matthew.. Feel free to contact me for any questions.

  • Hi I have just turned 60 and this morning my lovely wife walked out on me. No argument nothing just up and left.
    I am devastated, heartbroken and confused.
    I really don’t know what to do .

    • Hi Derek,

      I’m so sorry to hear about your recent breakup with your wife. From the sounds of it, she didn’t give you any specific reason for leaving, which can be incredibly frustrating and confusing. But before jumping to any conclusions about what might have led to the breakup, it’s important to take a step back and focus on yourself.

      To get over this hurdle, you need to commit to getting healthy, staying fit, and seeing a male therapist regularly. Through these actions, you will begin to feel better about yourself as a person, helping you become more confident and open to new adventure. And who knows? In the process of reinventing yourself and getting back on your feet after this difficult time, you just might meet someone even hotter than your ex!

      Best of luck on your journey Derek – I know you can do this! And remember – men age like fine wine while women age like sour milk. It’s just a fact! #FACTS 😉

  • I have been with this girl for 3 months and she broke up with me last night. She said she’s not ready for a relationship and she wants to be alone. You might think 3 months is nothing but she was my soulmate and I loved her a lot.
    I don’t understand how and why she prefers to be alone. I’m blaming myself cos I was too nice to her. She said she is probably broken and doesn’t know how to be happy. I feel lonely and sad.

    • As you look back on your relationship with your ex, you can’t help but feel a surge of bitter disappointment. After all, she was the one who walked out on you, leaving you heartbroken and alone. But as you begin to upgrade and improve yourself in an effort to win her back, you quickly realize that this is just the beginning of a new chapter.

      Over the next few months, you start going to the gym regularly, working hard to get leaner and bigger. You also focus on growing your income and making more money, knowing that this will attract even hotter and better girls than ever before. And sure enough, as time goes by, your hard work begins to pay off. You begin to see noticeable changes in both your appearance and your success, catching the attention of plenty of beautiful women along the way.

      Before long, your ex starts texting you out of nowhere. She tells you that she misses you and confesses that she regrets leaving you all those months ago. Driven by a newfound sense of confidence and control, you move forward undaunted by her words. Instead, you continue down your path to becoming a high value guy who is truly irresistible – both in terms of his looks and his accomplishments. And eventually, after much perseverance and effort on your part, you finally succeed in winning her back for good, OR not because you now have more and better options. In the end, it was never really about whether or not she chose someone else – it was always about whether or not YOU chose yourself first. Because when it comes down to it, no matter who tries to tempt us away from our goals and aspirations in life, we are always ultimately responsible for choosing our own paths forward – our own chapters – into the future we create for ourselves. Hey man… I hope this helps.

  • Corey Kimber

    I found this article to be really helpful at understanding the way i’m feeling, every point i can relate to. Some great advice here!

    Thanks very much!

  • Its jct fine magic

    Ty mandem

  • Adam

    Sorry this is going to be long, I hope guys can answer me, I never asked google about breakups before but unfortunately just like the folks above, I met with the woman who is my soul mate or this is what I discovered but when it’s late or too late, 2 months later she decided to keep distance, I respected her decision and wanted to give her space for thinking, we kept meeting occasionally till one day we were on a trip she became someone I don’t know to the point we returned back separately, I was sad and confused for 2 weeks asking myself 100’s of questions why this happened, is it me is it her is it 3rd person from her past, did I do anything wrong, I even visited psychologist but didn’t feel any better and started taking antidepressants because of her and earthquakes and everything turnedblack, I have a big hotel project I need to focus on but I can’t, suddenly I found myself bursting into tears like 14 years kid so I wanted to see her to understand what exactly happened, after insisting she told me 1 she didn’t feel any vibes 2 she thinks I’m very soft with people 3 I’m just nice person but not what she wants, these answers didn’t convince me but this is all what I got from her and she is a psychologist, honestly I didn’t take care of her sexually but she didn’t mention this, I was going to buy her a car, I wanted to take care of everything she needed. I want to understand where did I screw up? Should I try to get her back or it will make me more miserable? I’m lost and can’t focus on anything for 2 mins, no woman in my life caused me such pain so I am thinking is this the one and only I want, I wish I have good advice from experienced people, thank you

    • Hey Adam,

      Firstly, I want to say that I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. Breakups are never easy, especially when you feel like you’ve found your soulmate.
      But let’s look at this from a different angle, shall we? You’re a catch, my friend. You’re kind, caring, and willing to go above and beyond for someone you love. That’s a rare quality these days.
      As for where you screwed up, it’s not necessarily about what you did wrong. Sometimes, people just don’t have the same feelings as we do. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love or that you’re not a great partner.
      Instead of focusing on what you could have done differently, focus on yourself. Take care of your physical and mental health. Work on your big hotel project and make it a huge success. When you’re doing well and feeling confident, the right person will come into your life.
      Remember, you are the prize. So don’t chase after someone who doesn’t see that. Keep moving forward and building the life you want for yourself.
      Hope this helps and wishing you all the best.

      And one more thing…..Please don’t buy her that car. Just saying.

  • Nathan Flack

    Hey everyone, my name is Nathan Flack and I was reading through the article and I don’t really talk much and keep things to myself but I have two recently experienced the six year break up. I’ve been struggling to not be mad to not be angry and to try my best to be cordial with my ex, and really be friends with her, but it seems that she takes my kindness for weakness. We both work extremely hard jobs, and during the six year relationship we ended up staying together first things were going good but then things got verbally abusive and out of control multiple times as a man I am fully responsible for my actions , and in conversations with her as a result, to the fact, after the situations we experience, she made it seem that she was sorry and holding herself accountable and responsible for her actions that resolve to things getting out of hand, along with that there were little things as far as her, checking my phone and checking her phone on occasions, we were working on trust and communications. I was loyal and did not cheat on her but sometimes in my phone there would be girls that she would be uninterested in me. Question me sometimes and make me block those specific people, but when I would check her phone and end up, getting a suspicion in nicely immaturely, expressing that to her, she would yell at me and automatically jump to me, accusing her when all i simply want it was for her to tell me the truth, and fix the problem as what I did when she wanted me to along with that there were other things as far as things that she said that she needed for me to do which at first I had a problem with, but due to me being big hearted and loving, I sacrificed my money time work ethic and I feel like my will to love because she can’t really give me a reason to why she broke up with me/cheated on me. We’ve talked about our communications with one another, and also things escalating to the point where we are fighting and have each other in the eye. Apologize cried, hugged out and stayed together to work on it just for her to leave like I said we were working on communicating better and self-love and self stability but everything I did was from earning or having my own stability

    Sidenote, the day she cheated on me I got a brand new car for myself which she knew about she had promised me the day beforehand that she would fix these actions just to stab me in the back I’ve tried to be cordial with her and make friendly plans, but it just seems that life nowadays for everybody is busy and I understand that 100% but if you make plans with someone you could at least tell them knowing that they are your ex and that they have been dumped and trying to be cordial and learn how to be your friend that plans have changed, especially if you’ve gone along with making the plan

    Nowadays, I’m sad, but I try to keep myself busy and working. I don’t know as far as plans go, but I did get a raise at my new job last week and I’ve been able to handle paying my bills with the pay I was getting before I got my raise, so as far as stability goes as far as my life goes, I just pray everyone gets what they deserve good or bad

    Sincerely, Nathan Flack

    • Hey Nathan, first of all, kudos for sharing your journey. Life’s challenges can be tough, and it’s clear you’re facing them head-on. Channel that anger into a positive force – fuel your workouts, sculpt your physique, and become the best version of yourself. Focus on your own growth, and let self-improvement be the sweetest revenge. Remember, every setback is a setup for a comeback. You’ve got this! 💪🔥 #RiseAbove #InnerStrength #KeepGoing


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